7.21.2005

Common Ground Can Be Found

This blog entry verifies something I have known all along. Putting women first allows us to meet the "other side" on common ground. Although the writer does not want to make a habit out of discussing this, she was gracious enough to admit that we could maybe agree on some things.

Also, check out a pro-life perspective on the pro-woman approach here.

I've seen this reaction before to the pro-woman approach, and I take this as proof positive that this approach should be used the majority of the time. How else are you going to get pro-choice and pro-life persons to talk civilly?

3 comments:

Sully said...

PPL,

My latest blog entry was about how horrified I am at the idea of women aborting for lifestyle reasons (i.e. - for their careers). I don't know whether that is pro-woman enough for ya :)It's how I feel, though.

It's not about women in crisis when they are aborting for their careers. It is about their personal sense of convenience.

'I don't want a baby now, so I'll just get rid of it'

Do you have any advice on how one can be respectful towards women who abort not out of crisis but out of convenience? There really are women out there who abort because they *REALLY* want to abort - who'd abort no matter how much help is available for them. I don't know what percentage of women abort for convenience reasons. It may in fact be a very low percentage point, but they do exist. For these women, how can one keep things in it's proper perspective? How can/should we talk to them, in your opinion? Should we just ignore them?

Rachael said...

I disagree Crystal Lake. In my experience as a pregnancy options counselor, often the fear is "I won't be able to [insert concern here i.e. finish school, continue working, take care of current child, etc.] if I have a baby right now. I love the baby, but this isn't the right time for me." It's isn't necessarily, "Oh I don't want to have a baby because it's inconvient", it's that they're faced with overwhelming fears. I do agree though, there are women out there who resent parenting and would have an abortion no matter what if they were to get pregnant. I don't know, they may be just a small percentage or they may not be.

The Pro-Woman Pro-Lifer said...

I would first say that even when it is done for the sake of convenience, most women do have a sense of not feeling excited about aborting. In other words, it's often much deeper of a struggle than "I don't want a baby, so I'll just get rid of it. It usually isn't that easy of a choice. The article you refer to in your blog also speaks particularly of younger women. The younger women often do not know enough about abortion to really make a choice. They assume it’s okay because it’s legal, it’s normal, and their friends are doing it. It is often the first and only option considered. I think a society that allows this, and even promotes it, sickens me much, much more than the women do. How about you?

I don’t think it’s about respecting women as much as it’s about being able to understand their thought process. I think that convenience (or what I like to call advancement ...whether regarding work, school, or life in general), can be another form of pressure in and of itself that women need to deal with, and as such, we need to work on the belief system that she has to be able to assist her to do all that she would like to do. If a woman goes to school for X amount of years, lands the perfect job with a great company, and otherwise has life running smoothly, an unplanned pregnancy can appear to be a huge wrench in the hopes, plans, and dreams she has had for her life. That may seem shallow at first glance, but remember that she is in shock and has the option to erase what just happened. In a society where abortion is seen as a “magic wand” of sorts, I can see how it would appeal to her. She is told to visit a doctor...pop a few pills....and presto...things can move happily along the way she had planned. Can you see how that might be true for a woman?

If I were working with a woman that had that situation present in her life, I would help her to look at the rest of her life – her feelings about life before birth, her feelings about abortion, her religious beliefs, her thoughts on what would need to change if she were to have a baby. (I’ve had a woman tell me she thought babies need to be held 20 hours out of the day, for instance.) Sometimes it’s harder to zero in on one issue – even when that seems to be the deciding factor. It can be easier to help her take a step back and evaluate her life as a whole. Once you have done that, it might be easier to zero in on the concrete concerns regarding work or school.

Yes, some women will abort no matter what you do, what you say, what you offer, etc. I think that God places these women in our lives to be a reminder down the road that there are people that care about her, her feelings, her concerns, etc...a place free of judgment.

BTW, it is okay to be outraged, horrified, and sickened at the issue of abortion. Being pro-woman, however, is being able to say that you hate the abortion but love the woman. Don’t let that righteous anger directed at abortion get in the way of offering love and forgiveness to women before and after their choice is made.