9.08.2005

One Woman's Pro-Life Manifesto

This was written by a young woman as a rebuttal to Glamour's article entitled "The Mysterious Disappearance of Pro-Choice Woman." (This is a PDF file of the article.) All of her points are very well made. Here are some of the main points with commentary:

I believe I know more people who have been sexually active, who have been pregnant, who have had abortions, or kept their babies, or chosen adoption than my mother or my mother's friends did. I have witnessed the effects of the abortion revolution her generation brought about, and I say it has not solved anything. Abortion on demand has not made men respect women more, it has not made it easier for women to refuse unwanted sexual advances, it has not reduced the consequences of early sexual activity and pregnancy, it has not healed the emotional wounds of rape and incest victims....it has not given women the freedom to be men. We just aren't designed like that. We're designed to love and create, not destroy.

She hit the nail on the head here. Abortion does not make things better. It doesn't solve the root of the problem. Poverty, gender equality, rape, etc - these things are not solved or soothed by abortion. They are glossed over, and problems that already exist are often made worse in the case of the woman that regrets her abortion and begins to despair.

I believe abortion hurts the very women it was supposed to heal.
Yes, this goes without saying in my book, but at the same time, it needs to be said again and again.


I believe abortion gives men the freedom to be irresponsible.

It sure does. I have worked with so many women who tell their significant others that they are pregnant only to discover that the men aren't respectful, responsible, or even kind. Abortion has required men to be hostile. (Not all men - I know.) Men now know that if they just dig their heels in and demand that something be done, women will often give in out of hopelessness. What kind of advancement it that?


I believe abortion gives society an excuse to ignore and spurn young mothers.

Amen to that. Women are expected these days that if they are not financially secure and they are young, they need to have an abortion. The reaction to the story about the teens in Ohio where 13% of the girls at the local high school are pregnant has been interesting to watch. Everyone is no doubt wondering why they didn't just have abortions. Or maybe there are many more who did make the choice to abort, and the pregnant ones are the women that couldn't make that choice. It becomes expected - even demanded at times - that young women have an abortion, and if they don't, they are spurned, questioned, and made to feel uncaring.

I believe that motherhood is not the end of life, but its beginning.

I try to get this point across to women young and old(er). Unfortunately, our society does teach women that motherhood means all work and absolutely no fun. It also teaches that it's okay to put your needs before the needs of your child (not to mention that it teaches that your child isn't really your child if it isn't born yet). It's also hard to convey that the small moments are so joyous and unimaginable - the gummy smiles, looking deep into your child's eyes, teaching your child new things - small things, like what a flower bud looks like and will become, what noises a cricket makes, that gophers make the holes in the backyard - those happen every day. Those things are priceless. It is the beginning of a whole new life, and sometimes that life can be hard, but it is well worth it. Abortion doesn't allow women to feel those emotions. What a sad thing.

I believe in choice: I believe no woman should be raped, forced or coerced into sexual relations. I believe that a woman who partakes in consensual sex has already made a choice - she is choosing by her actions to accept the possible consequence of a child. After all, that is what sex is designed to do.

Abortion does make it easier for personal responsibility to go out the window (in the case of consensual sex). Sex was designed for husband and wife to enjoy eachother and to procreate. There are ways to avoid procreation naturally. (God doesn't just want it to be all about procreation obviously.) Taking sex out of the context of marriage creates a wealth of problems - one of which is abortion. Marital sex can result in an unplanned pregnancy, but this is less common, and women in a marriage do not need to deal with the weight of a stigma.

I believe that many women who choose abortion do so out of a feeling of desperation. These women need to know that we will not let them down. They need help to have their babies. They need healing after abortion. They need love.

Amen to that. See this and this entry for my take on this.

I believe that a mature, loving sexual relationship ought always to have room for a child. Any man not worth taking that chance with is not worth your time and is certainly not worth giving the precious gift of your sexuality to.

This would be a good guideline to follow. Every sexual relationship needs to be loving enough to accept the responsibility for the life of a child, and this is why sex should wait for the stability, maturity, and love that comes from marriage. It makes it easier and more healthy for women in the long run.

HT: After Abortion and Naaman.

7 comments:

Feynman said...

"I believe abortion gives men the freedom to be irresponsible. "

No more so than it does women.

Feynman said...

I think the major problem is the leaders of both the pro-life and pro-choice movements. They both paint the picture as black and white and it is a very complex social issue. The people are caught in the middle. I think a better approach would be to bring the moderates together and think of other ways to remove the problem.

No one wants abortion. Lets build on this. If the pro-lifers would have built a social support structure for single mothers maybe this wouldnt happen.

Lets try to educate, and provide support for these women. Trying to legislate this subject is a waste of time and money

Naaman said...

They both paint the picture as black and white and it is a very complex social issue.

No, it is not. We have made it a complex issue because we didn't like the simple answer, which is that it's wrong to take innocent human life. That answer got in the way of our precious liberties, so we decided to look for a more "nuanced" and "complicated" answer.

The situations that surround abortion can be very complicated. How should we best control our fertility? How should we care for mothers and babies alike? But the basic question of abortion is very, very simple: Can it ever be right to deliberately kill an innocent human being? The answer is equally simple: No. If another human being's life is at stake, then it can be a necessary evil, but it's still evil even then.

No one wants abortion. Lets build on this.

Some people want abortion, but the vast majority don't. And yes, there are some "common ground" areas to work together. But even those "common ground" areas are treacherous. For example, one often-suggested "common ground" is the morning-after pill. However, if you believe that life begins at conception (as most pro-lifers do), then the morning-after pill is really just pharmaceutical abortion.

Lets try to educate, and provide support for these women. Trying to legislate this subject is a waste of time and money

Let's do both. It's not an "either/or" situation.

We work to prevent rapes by teaching women how to not be victims, how to defend themselves, and so forth ... and we also put rapists in prison.

We work to prevent drunk driving by teaching people about the effects of alcohol, public-awareness campaigns, and so forth ... and we also revoke people's driving privileges if they're convicted of drunk driving.

We can do the same thing with abortion, and we should.

The Pro-Woman Pro-Lifer said...

Feynman,

Naaman made some great points regarding your second post.

As to your comment about abortion making women irresponsible. I would agree to a certain point that some women do use abortion as birth control and do not see it as a problem. That is irresponsible.

I think you miss a bigger point,however. Even when a woman is pregnant and considering abortion - it is solely her responsibility. If she wants to parent, the man can decide to manipulate the situation, and then what is the woman to do? Facing lack of support, threats, etc, she's more likely to give into having an abortion. This was the irresponsibility that I was speaking of - not the irresponsibility of getting pregnant in the first place.

Also, you mentioned that pro-lifers would have built a support structure this may not have happened. I think that the support structure is there, and I think it would increase. However, having abortion available as an acceptable alternative - even a desired alternative - makes the support system pale in comparison.

JivinJ said...

PWPL,
It was nice to meet you yesterday. You did a great job explaining what you do. Hopefully, we'll be able to send some more women your way.

The Pro-Woman Pro-Lifer said...

Ahhhh...sneaky, aren't you? Well, it was very nice to meet you too. Don't I feel like an idiot now...lol. Oh well. Thanks for letting me in on the secret. ;)

The Pro-Woman Pro-Lifer said...

BTW J, I think you know too much now. ::: snicker::::